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Ithaca Cafe Grand Opening on 2022 April 1

For Immediate Release: 2022 April 1

ITHACA, NY — The Ithaca Cafe Grand Opening is scheduled for 2022 April 1.

Check the Food and Beverages Menu to see if you are listed there. The menu features food and drinks with the names of Ithacans, past and present.

“I’ve been walking since 8 a.m., looking for the place,” said Fall Creek pundit, Michael Pastore. “I can’t find it anywhere. i guess that is part of the mystique, and the practical plan — when I do get there, I will be hungry and thirsty enough to devour everything in the whole cafe.”

Pastore, who walks at an exceptionally fast pace, continued: “I heard a rumor that some practical joker put me on the menu. I want to ask the Chef if that entitles me to a free meal.”

Asked about the phone-sized calculator he was holding in his hand, Pastore responded: “Their website boasts that, compared with every other restaurant in town, the Ithaca Cafe’s imported Swiss cheese has twice as many holes per chunk. … I am planning to confirm or debunk that by carefully counting the holes.”

Pastore smiled as he explained: “The Cafe promises that you get a free meal if you can make your waiter laugh out loud. I have a joke ready: A new restaurant opened on the moon. The newspaper review said: Food Great. No Atmosphere.”

April 1 — in addition to the opening of the Ithaca Cafe — is the birthday of Abraham Maslow, Sergei Rachmaninoff, Rachel Maddow, Nikolai Gogol, Milan Kundera, Sophie Germain, Özge Özpirinçci, Edmond Rostand, Fernando del Paso, Andreas Kalvos, Agnes Repplier, Fauja Singh, Marie Jungius (Dutch fairy tale writer), Pola Gojawiczynska (Polish writer, Stolica), and Maria Polydouri (Greek poet, d. 1930).

Visit the Ithaca Cafe at